I'm done playing

I didn't think it was possible to be stressed any more than we were before the car accident, but turns out our stress-bag can be further expanded. I'm just waiting for it to burst.

Turns out I am incredibly naive: I thought that, since my car was totaled and we were left with one functioning vehicle (which in suburban NJ is a death sentence since there is no meaningful bus, train or car pool transportation, the fact that makes my head explode periodically) the insurance company will kindly pat us on the back and fork over the estimated value of the car within a couple of days, we'll take the check and hippity-hop into a sunset to buy a new (for us) beautiful car.

The reality, as usual, is ugly and cruel: it's been two weeks and we haven't seen any money yet.  All the dealerships in the area pretty much laughed at us and our budget. We were told by one sympathetic dude to look privately, because they have nothing in our price range. We were not planning on purchasing a car for another two years, when zaiki will go to school and we'll stop paying ridiculous childcare fees, so now we are effectively fucked.

So we've been looking privately. We've found a score of scams, lemons, and Polish people who can't spell.

One seller's mother saw my daughters, asked what their names were and, hearing "Maya" excitedly exclaimed: "I love that name! One of my dogs is named Maya!" before climbing into her sporty red Mercedes. Now, I don't have anything against people with money, people with dogs, or Bergen county, or Medcedes drivers, but I do have an itty-bitty thing with people comparing my children to their smelly spoiled butt-licking creatures.

Note to ya'll: if you ever compare my children to your dogs, expect an ass-whooping. It's a pet peeve of mine. Because children are NOTHING like dogs. I've had both and I can assure you of the difference most emphatically.

In addition to all this, I had a flu shot. BIG MISTAKE. I've forgotten that every year I get sick after it. This year is no different: two days after the shot, I feel like shit, my head is on fire and my body hurts. Which made taking care of the girls oh-so-fun this weekend. I should have one of the zaiki sneeze in my mouth instead, probably would have been more effective. Apparently the American flu shot vaccine is poison to my sad Russian immune system. This is a last one I get.


So right now I'm sitting in my pajamas sniffling into a napkin, shaking from the cold and the stress. Yes, I am that high-strung. I haven't been able to run and it makes me even sadder.
Today Kevin took the girls to the park so I can fully engage in self-pity right now. God, I'm done playing. Old Jewish parable (or whatever you call it) says that it could always be worse, and I know that. But I'd like a little bit of a break for us, just to be able to swim up to the surface and take a breath. I'm done playing.