ARGGG

I've written about poop. Too much, I might add: how poop is everywhere, for instance. I'm sure there's more, but don't want to scout for it. Now that zaiki are a little more settled and 98% potty trained (I don't count sleeptime, that'll come later) the poop stopped tormenting us and I thought I won't have to dedicate any more posts to it. But the latest happening made me rethink that:

Aah, a nice, warm, relaxing bubble bath. What a treat, you may think. Taking a bath was a luxury before the zaiki. I loved to poop pop (see!!!! It is in my subconscious mind!!!!) in a nice CD, bring up my glass of wine, light candles and just relax in the tub. I haven't done it in three years (I'm such a mom cliche), so the other night I decided it was time.

After the zaiki were washed, fed, changed, hugged and tucked in, I closed the door to the bathroom, filled the tub with seductively warm water, and climbed in. Glorious, floaty feeling of being alone, no grabby hands, no demands. Perfect "me" time! Alas, it was short-lived: just as my muscles started to unknot themselves, the door opened. Maya tentatively peeked her head in and decided that sitting on the floor in front of the tub and watching Mama shave her legs is more fun than sleeping. It is a little disconcerting to have someone sit there and provide a running commentary of your EVERY move. I guess I better get used to it, but still. After she got tired of commenting on my actions, she moved on to carefully listing all anatomic attributes she would like to have when she grows up. Then (my guess that all that talking made her feel relaxed) she had to poop. Of course! My nemesis - toddler poop - had to make an appearance. So I had to leap out of the nice, warm and comfortable water to wipe her butt. I tell you what: nothing snaps you out of blissful relaxing-ness superfast as wiping toddler bottoms. Nothing.
The mood was broken. The poop won again.

Stinkbugs attack!!

EWWWWW

If you looked at the side of our house early this morning, you would no doubt see a small purple sponge frozen solid, laying in the grass. How did it get there, you may ask? Behold for a tale of one stinkbug's life and (very timely) death...
 
Last night I was home alone with zaiki, who were in a rare Incredible Hulk form. I finally wrestled them into the tub. I have two sponges: pink (Maya's) and purple (Sonya's), hanging in the shower for zaiki-scrubbing. Usually the washing goes this way:
Me: "Maya, come here and let me wash your hair"
Maya: " NO MAMA I AM MEAN ON YOU"

Me: "Sonya, come here I'll wash your hair"
Sonya:"NOOOOO NEVER EVER EVER EVER"

Me: "Come here now!" (start lathering shampoo on them)
Zaiki: "WAAAAAAA" <splash,splash,splash> - I am covered in water....

Last night, before I could get to the oh-so-fun hair washing routine, we saw a GIANT STINKBUG hiding in Sonya's purple sponge, ready to strike at any moment. Zaiki leaped out of the tub dripping wet before I could say "stinkbug" and I was left to extract the bug from the tub. I hate all bugs. I have creepy-crawlies just thinking about them, and forget about touching it with my hands! Not happening....Plus, the bug was huge!So, I was hoping it will behave normally and drown.

Turns out stinkbugs can live under water for a while. It was firmly attached to the sponge and was perfectly content on sitting in the nice, warm water (and a little bit of pee). But zaiki still needed to be washed, and I still had to shower.

So I gathered all my mental strength coupled with mothering instinct, reached in and grabbed the sponge. I took it to the window I opened and tried to shake the nasty thing into the cold. The bug, feeling imminent death, started crawling up the sponge towards my finger, prompting me to yelp like a wounded puppy and throw the damn thing out of the window. Zaiki were delighted that mama saved the day once again.

And to earn even more zaiki-points, I brought in the frozen sponge in this morning (sans the bug) when I went out to warm up the car. Turns out, 2.5 year olds are really amused by frozen stiff objects. It's nice to be a hero... :)