Monday, January 27, 2014
zaiki and co.: Why 5 is so much better than 4
zaiki and co.: Why 5 is so much better than 4: It's really been a while since I even thought about writing anything here. The long break had to do with the feeling that I cannot hones...
Why 5 is so much better than 4
It's really been a while since I even thought about writing anything here. The long break had to do with the feeling that I cannot honestly write here without some kind of backlash. Then I decided: fuck it, it's my space, my thoughts: if don't like it - go away. And immediately after that thought I got so busy I could barely contemplate creative writing for fun, let along to sit down and put together a post.
Lots is happening: zaiki are four and a half and enrolled at a private pre-k half a mile from our house (happy-happy-happy dance, no more traffic or driving, yo!), I am teaching public speaking at a state university in addition to my regular day job and life has gotten a little bit easier. The biggest change comes from a different approach to things: nothing is permanent, and thinking about the present greatly reduced the feeling of weight on my shoulders. I took a clue from the girls: they change so quickly, nothing can be taken as an always-and-forever thing. One day Sonya loves her smoked salmon, the next she can't stand it. Go figure! No planning! Pass the wine!
I think sometimes that if I had another baby, I would totally rock the baby stage knowing what I know now about child development. Oh, the little precious one is not sleeping through the night? Just wait a week or two, she'll be snoozing like a champ. LOL.
But alas, no babies here. I've said before I am not a fan of babies. That is still true: if I meet one and is offered to hold it, I usually politely decline. That's how out-babied I am. Raising twins would do that.
I much prefer my children now than I did even two years ago. They are turning out to be really cool almost human people. For instance,they just began to dress themselves in the morning.
Those of you who say: "Humph, what's a big deal about getting your little ones dressed?" know nothing. Every morning, around 7 am, was the time for my own small personal rodeo: by the time I was done it felt like I unsuccessfully tried to saddle up two robust and very unwilling ponies.
Husband is the one who implemented the dress-yourselves routine using the slightly gentler version of the drill-sergeant techniques picked up in the military, for which I am eternally grateful.
Now all I have to do is lay out everything the night before and they do all the work. The infuriating fact is that it only takes them a few minutes to get fully dressed, which means the stinkers long had the ability, but prefered the fun game of "let's see who can kick mama the strongest".
This new milestone brings me to the topic of today's post. Here is why 4.5 (let's just round it up to 5 for easy typing) kicks 4's ass. These are all the things zaiki learned to do in the past few months:
1. Dressing themselves - as described above, huge for a parent of twins. Cuts down the morning to-do list by at least half. Shedding happy tears.
2. Wiping their butts. Another biggie. See numero uno for the reasoning. Plus, less exposure to kid poop, which ruled my life for 4 long years. Do ya all like how I strategically placed this improvement under number two? Tee-hee.
3. Self-play. I believe that self-play is the first step towards independence, self-regulating and creative problem solving, even if it sometimes means kick-stomping your sister skinhead style to get the coveted doll. All of these are crucial to surviving their school years, and if they can dodge a dropkick, then I feel secure for their place in the school foodchain.
4. Improved fine motor skills: now I can actually ask them to bring me something or to turn up the volume on the TV and not only do they understand me, they are actually able to perform the required task. This makes my job as a mother easier while fostering independence and self-actualization, so everyone wins.
5. They are funnier and get humor. They make me laugh on a regular basis. The jokes are just too much. For instance, Maya was talking about God and the communion: "Mama, does it mean that we all have a piece of God inside us?"
Me (melting at the spiritual awareness): "Yes, Maya, that's what it means"
Maya: "Ok, then I got the God's head..."
Hysterical laughter ensued and the discussion degenerated from there...
So I'm remaining optimistic for the upcoming year ahead: I hope for more independence and less whining, free-ish time for the Husband and I, but who knows...:)
Lots is happening: zaiki are four and a half and enrolled at a private pre-k half a mile from our house (happy-happy-happy dance, no more traffic or driving, yo!), I am teaching public speaking at a state university in addition to my regular day job and life has gotten a little bit easier. The biggest change comes from a different approach to things: nothing is permanent, and thinking about the present greatly reduced the feeling of weight on my shoulders. I took a clue from the girls: they change so quickly, nothing can be taken as an always-and-forever thing. One day Sonya loves her smoked salmon, the next she can't stand it. Go figure! No planning! Pass the wine!
I think sometimes that if I had another baby, I would totally rock the baby stage knowing what I know now about child development. Oh, the little precious one is not sleeping through the night? Just wait a week or two, she'll be snoozing like a champ. LOL.
But alas, no babies here. I've said before I am not a fan of babies. That is still true: if I meet one and is offered to hold it, I usually politely decline. That's how out-babied I am. Raising twins would do that.
I much prefer my children now than I did even two years ago. They are turning out to be really cool almost human people. For instance,they just began to dress themselves in the morning.
DRESS. THEMSELVES. WITHOUT ME!
<Insert here a moment of silence so I can savor this delicious developmental milestone>
Those of you who say: "Humph, what's a big deal about getting your little ones dressed?" know nothing. Every morning, around 7 am, was the time for my own small personal rodeo: by the time I was done it felt like I unsuccessfully tried to saddle up two robust and very unwilling ponies.
Husband is the one who implemented the dress-yourselves routine using the slightly gentler version of the drill-sergeant techniques picked up in the military, for which I am eternally grateful.
Now all I have to do is lay out everything the night before and they do all the work. The infuriating fact is that it only takes them a few minutes to get fully dressed, which means the stinkers long had the ability, but prefered the fun game of "let's see who can kick mama the strongest".
This new milestone brings me to the topic of today's post. Here is why 4.5 (let's just round it up to 5 for easy typing) kicks 4's ass. These are all the things zaiki learned to do in the past few months:
1. Dressing themselves - as described above, huge for a parent of twins. Cuts down the morning to-do list by at least half. Shedding happy tears.
2. Wiping their butts. Another biggie. See numero uno for the reasoning. Plus, less exposure to kid poop, which ruled my life for 4 long years. Do ya all like how I strategically placed this improvement under number two? Tee-hee.
3. Self-play. I believe that self-play is the first step towards independence, self-regulating and creative problem solving, even if it sometimes means kick-stomping your sister skinhead style to get the coveted doll. All of these are crucial to surviving their school years, and if they can dodge a dropkick, then I feel secure for their place in the school foodchain.
4. Improved fine motor skills: now I can actually ask them to bring me something or to turn up the volume on the TV and not only do they understand me, they are actually able to perform the required task. This makes my job as a mother easier while fostering independence and self-actualization, so everyone wins.
5. They are funnier and get humor. They make me laugh on a regular basis. The jokes are just too much. For instance, Maya was talking about God and the communion: "Mama, does it mean that we all have a piece of God inside us?"
Me (melting at the spiritual awareness): "Yes, Maya, that's what it means"
Maya: "Ok, then I got the God's head..."
Hysterical laughter ensued and the discussion degenerated from there...
So I'm remaining optimistic for the upcoming year ahead: I hope for more independence and less whining, free-ish time for the Husband and I, but who knows...:)
Monday, July 22, 2013
zaiki and co.: Midsummer post
zaiki and co.: Midsummer post: It's the middle of July, and still feels like summer had just begun. Many things are new, many things are unchanged, life goes on. Zaiki...
Midsummer post
It's the middle of July, and still feels like summer had just begun. Many things are new, many things are unchanged, life goes on. Zaiki turned 4, grew a bunch, know all the letters. On the verge of reading. Great power comes from knowing how to read - they were amazed the first time they put letters together and the letters meant something! I guess for a small person, discovering a whole new super power is amazing. :)
As for husband and I, work and more work. Sadly, we had to say "good bye" to some very good friends who went back to Russia, and next week will bring more good byes for both zaiki and us - other people who became dear friends are moving. Not Russia far but the girls will lose some awesome playmates. That's ok, I believe that life has more good people for us to meet.
During our travels, girls, namely Maya, discovered three new dinosaur species:
As for husband and I, work and more work. Sadly, we had to say "good bye" to some very good friends who went back to Russia, and next week will bring more good byes for both zaiki and us - other people who became dear friends are moving. Not Russia far but the girls will lose some awesome playmates. That's ok, I believe that life has more good people for us to meet.
During our travels, girls, namely Maya, discovered three new dinosaur species:
- "Mintosaurus" - dinosaur that eats mint exclusively, which causes it great stomach pains and so it poops on our lawn after it gorges itself on mint
- "Carosaurus": this one eats cars sprinkled with insects (HuH?), ONLY after it turns off the overhead light. (When asked why does the dinosaur have to turn off the light, she shrugged and said that it just what it does)
- "Fruitosaurus" eats fruit, and it's the nicest dinosaur of all, and it smells really good
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Oh Twightligt, where do I begin?
It's official - "Twightlight" movies are awful. I accidently tuned in to watch a snippet of "Breaking Dawn Part 1", and oh what a throwback to the 1950s mentality it is. Oh, I think it even trumps Disney in its objectification of women, and that's saying a lot!
I ended up watching the whole thing, just so I would be fair in trashing it. Here's a list of WTFs of "Twighlight":
1 - vampires don't burn up in the sun, they "shimmer"...Umm, ok...
2 - vampires have venom, that is collectible and injectible...Venom? What are they, rattlesnakes? And how would you milk one? I know with snakes the ranglers latch one onto a jar covered with gauze after sufficiently pissing it off. I guess with "Edward" they had to dangle a blood covered teenage virgin behind a gauze screen or something...
3 - getting married right after high school graduation is an awesome life choice. Parents weeping with joy as they watch their little darling marrying the creepy pale dude, not a one raised eyebrow between them.
4 - little women are supposed to let big strong men make all the decisions and worry about the important things in life. Because, you know, women are fragile little things that need to be protected and can't handle life on their own. Examples include, but not limited to: buckling one's seatbelt, making decisions about honeymoon destinations, control over one's fate, that kind of stuff.
5 - oh, the sex scene...Besided the fact that sex is another part of life where man executes full control over his wife, as in where, how and how often to do it, there are so many other things that go on...Per genius who created the books, vampires are cold and hard like marble. So...how would you have sex with one? Wouldn't IT be cold as well?
6 - pregnancy at an accelerated rate? Really? With a baby vampire? Really?
Besides these genius plot twists, the overall take-away message is this: women must be pure and chaste, only then they are worthy of marrying a rich dude who will love them. Women can't be trusted to make decisions since they always make wrong ones and then the men are left cleaning up their messes. Sex is ok, as long as it is with your husband and on his terms. So just sit there, look pretty, drive a fancy car and play with make up.
The target audience for these movies are teenage and pre-teen girls. What kind of message does it send about love and marriage? About their place in society? What about education and independance? Per "Twighlight" universe, it is leave your ambitions at the door, your only goal in life should be marriage. Oh, and give your child a really awful, unpronouncable name like "Renesme". The whole series, based on this one masterpiece, scores -11 on my 10 point scale.
I ended up watching the whole thing, just so I would be fair in trashing it. Here's a list of WTFs of "Twighlight":
1 - vampires don't burn up in the sun, they "shimmer"...Umm, ok...
2 - vampires have venom, that is collectible and injectible...Venom? What are they, rattlesnakes? And how would you milk one? I know with snakes the ranglers latch one onto a jar covered with gauze after sufficiently pissing it off. I guess with "Edward" they had to dangle a blood covered teenage virgin behind a gauze screen or something...
3 - getting married right after high school graduation is an awesome life choice. Parents weeping with joy as they watch their little darling marrying the creepy pale dude, not a one raised eyebrow between them.
4 - little women are supposed to let big strong men make all the decisions and worry about the important things in life. Because, you know, women are fragile little things that need to be protected and can't handle life on their own. Examples include, but not limited to: buckling one's seatbelt, making decisions about honeymoon destinations, control over one's fate, that kind of stuff.
5 - oh, the sex scene...Besided the fact that sex is another part of life where man executes full control over his wife, as in where, how and how often to do it, there are so many other things that go on...Per genius who created the books, vampires are cold and hard like marble. So...how would you have sex with one? Wouldn't IT be cold as well?
6 - pregnancy at an accelerated rate? Really? With a baby vampire? Really?
Besides these genius plot twists, the overall take-away message is this: women must be pure and chaste, only then they are worthy of marrying a rich dude who will love them. Women can't be trusted to make decisions since they always make wrong ones and then the men are left cleaning up their messes. Sex is ok, as long as it is with your husband and on his terms. So just sit there, look pretty, drive a fancy car and play with make up.
The target audience for these movies are teenage and pre-teen girls. What kind of message does it send about love and marriage? About their place in society? What about education and independance? Per "Twighlight" universe, it is leave your ambitions at the door, your only goal in life should be marriage. Oh, and give your child a really awful, unpronouncable name like "Renesme". The whole series, based on this one masterpiece, scores -11 on my 10 point scale.
Monday, May 6, 2013
The kids ate my brain
You hear a lot about "pregnancy brain", when moms-to-be become forgetful and unable to concentrate, but in my case this affliction had stuck around, flourished and turned into "post-kid brain". I forget things, mishandle schedules, payments, forget new purple water bottles at the gym, purses at grocery stores, you name it! This last thing, however, had topped everything that happened before it:
I have poor eyesight and wear contact lenses and glasses. I take my contacts out every night and keep
them in a pretty pink and green case that I firmly close if my contact lenses are chilling in there. That's the routine: If the lid is closed, the contacts are home.
One morning amids usual early zaiki-hassle I looked over at the lens case, found it closed, and didn't have time to put the lenses in. "I'll just wear glasses today" I said to myself. By the time the kids were loaded in, buckled, and we were on the highway I realized I forgot my glasses, but I can see ok. Plus, I know my route and don't really need to watch out for unfamiliar markers/signs, so not a biggie. Ok, zaiki dropped off, I rushed back home since I was working from home that day. Get back, put my glasses on, and my vision gets all fuzzy. Take the glasses off- vision all clear. Put back on - fuzzy. I did this, like a doofus, about 5 times: on-fuzzy, off-clear. Then I looked around and I COULD SEE!!!! The strong black woman who lives in my head did her "Alleluia! Praise Jesus!" song, and I happily called my husband to let him know I got my eyesight back. He was skeptical, but the evidence was there: I could see the TV, the digital clock on the coffeemaker, the leaves outside. It was magical.
So I went on about my day. By the afternoon I developed a headache and started to get suspicious. (You can tell where this is going, right?). Then I finally realized I don't remember taking my contacts out a night before, looked in the mirror and saw a tell-tale bluish rings around my irises. What threw me off was the closed lens case: I'm such a creature of habit. Well, that and the stupid kids who make me unable to think straight in the morning. So had to call husband in shame.
Now I'm wondering what's next: leaving a kid at a store? Showing up for work in slippers? Stay tuned...
I have poor eyesight and wear contact lenses and glasses. I take my contacts out every night and keep
them in a pretty pink and green case that I firmly close if my contact lenses are chilling in there. That's the routine: If the lid is closed, the contacts are home.
One morning amids usual early zaiki-hassle I looked over at the lens case, found it closed, and didn't have time to put the lenses in. "I'll just wear glasses today" I said to myself. By the time the kids were loaded in, buckled, and we were on the highway I realized I forgot my glasses, but I can see ok. Plus, I know my route and don't really need to watch out for unfamiliar markers/signs, so not a biggie. Ok, zaiki dropped off, I rushed back home since I was working from home that day. Get back, put my glasses on, and my vision gets all fuzzy. Take the glasses off- vision all clear. Put back on - fuzzy. I did this, like a doofus, about 5 times: on-fuzzy, off-clear. Then I looked around and I COULD SEE!!!! The strong black woman who lives in my head did her "Alleluia! Praise Jesus!" song, and I happily called my husband to let him know I got my eyesight back. He was skeptical, but the evidence was there: I could see the TV, the digital clock on the coffeemaker, the leaves outside. It was magical.
So I went on about my day. By the afternoon I developed a headache and started to get suspicious. (You can tell where this is going, right?). Then I finally realized I don't remember taking my contacts out a night before, looked in the mirror and saw a tell-tale bluish rings around my irises. What threw me off was the closed lens case: I'm such a creature of habit. Well, that and the stupid kids who make me unable to think straight in the morning. So had to call husband in shame.
Now I'm wondering what's next: leaving a kid at a store? Showing up for work in slippers? Stay tuned...
Thursday, May 2, 2013
on becoming "THAT" person
It's been really a while since I wrote anything here. But I still like to check and scribble something in periodically just for my own amusement, my ambitions of joining the ranks of mommy bloggers fizzled gone along with my hopes for promotion and a meaningful raise at my place of employment.
So, what have we been up to? Not much and yet so much...The year flew by, summer is almost here. The girls will be 4 in June, and they are almost reading!! Reading!!! They like their school, and we like it too. The prices for childcare in this country are still appauling, but since I chose it as my home, I have to reap the consequences of my decision.
We got the girls baptized, I found a nice Russian Orthodox community, and I'm enjoying going to church with the girls. My mother is coming for the summer to zaiki-sit, so it'll be a nice relaxing (hopefully) time.
This year does not only mark positive changes, but new challenges, financial and personal. On the financial side, we are barely holding our heads above the water, but found a solution to this perpetual problem, so I guess that's good.
Personal challenges are more difficult to solve. I've always been a person who likes to be good, to do things the right way:to show up on time, do your homework, sit in the front of the classroom, that kind of deal. Over the course of this year, however, I have been slowly morphing into a person I don't recognize and don't like: I'm always late, I don't pay attention, I. JUST. DON'T. CARE. About anything. I've become so tired of struggling, forcing schedules, forcing friendships (on that in a bit), that I don't want to get up in the morning. So I became "THAT" person, you know, who everyone looks at, kinda crinkles their nose and exchanges meaningful glances with people next to them. You know the type: unhappy, quiet, distracted, harried mouse.
I haven't painted in a at least 6 months and I can't sleep without pills. I force myself to go to the gym mainly to offset crap I'm eating because I'm constantly, perpetually stressed.
At times like this a girl needs some friends. I'm lucky I have them, but in the past year it had become crystal clear who is a friend and who isn't. There is this one person who I've tried to be friends with. At first, we kinda clicked, and then it gradually became one-sided: I would call, I would invite...Almost never a reply, or "my phone was somewhere and I didn't get to it in time" excuse two days later. It didn't matter if I invited them to go to the park or my house, there's almost always a "we'll see"...And I felt so left out, wondering what was wrong with me, why am I being excluded? So I eagerly jumped each rare time we were so graciously invited in return.
One small positive side of having kids is the expansion of social circle. I became friends with some very cool like-minded people that I no longer cared about the one who repeatedly snubbed me. I also realized something: frienships shouldn't be forced. If you don't want to see someone, then just say "no, I can't". What really pissed me off were always bullshit excuses, "let's-do-this-some-other-time- call-me-laters". It's dishonest and misleading. Much like dating. I stopped calling and inviting. I chose to communicate with people who enjoy my company. As my wise Husband put it "being friends with someone shouldn't make you feel bad", and he is right, as almost always. Life is so much like high school. Oh wait, is it the other way around? :)
So back to becoming "THAT" person. In addition to my much internalized friendship drama, I had an unpleasant conversation at my place of employment about my tardiness, and that somewhat snapped me out of my haze. So, as usual, I'm pulling myself by my lazy self-loathing bottom, buckling up and making sure my rigid schedule sticks. So far, so good (it's been a few weeks, wait for the update in a month or so). :P
So, what have we been up to? Not much and yet so much...The year flew by, summer is almost here. The girls will be 4 in June, and they are almost reading!! Reading!!! They like their school, and we like it too. The prices for childcare in this country are still appauling, but since I chose it as my home, I have to reap the consequences of my decision.
We got the girls baptized, I found a nice Russian Orthodox community, and I'm enjoying going to church with the girls. My mother is coming for the summer to zaiki-sit, so it'll be a nice relaxing (hopefully) time.
This year does not only mark positive changes, but new challenges, financial and personal. On the financial side, we are barely holding our heads above the water, but found a solution to this perpetual problem, so I guess that's good.
Personal challenges are more difficult to solve. I've always been a person who likes to be good, to do things the right way:to show up on time, do your homework, sit in the front of the classroom, that kind of deal. Over the course of this year, however, I have been slowly morphing into a person I don't recognize and don't like: I'm always late, I don't pay attention, I. JUST. DON'T. CARE. About anything. I've become so tired of struggling, forcing schedules, forcing friendships (on that in a bit), that I don't want to get up in the morning. So I became "THAT" person, you know, who everyone looks at, kinda crinkles their nose and exchanges meaningful glances with people next to them. You know the type: unhappy, quiet, distracted, harried mouse.
I haven't painted in a at least 6 months and I can't sleep without pills. I force myself to go to the gym mainly to offset crap I'm eating because I'm constantly, perpetually stressed.
At times like this a girl needs some friends. I'm lucky I have them, but in the past year it had become crystal clear who is a friend and who isn't. There is this one person who I've tried to be friends with. At first, we kinda clicked, and then it gradually became one-sided: I would call, I would invite...Almost never a reply, or "my phone was somewhere and I didn't get to it in time" excuse two days later. It didn't matter if I invited them to go to the park or my house, there's almost always a "we'll see"...And I felt so left out, wondering what was wrong with me, why am I being excluded? So I eagerly jumped each rare time we were so graciously invited in return.
One small positive side of having kids is the expansion of social circle. I became friends with some very cool like-minded people that I no longer cared about the one who repeatedly snubbed me. I also realized something: frienships shouldn't be forced. If you don't want to see someone, then just say "no, I can't". What really pissed me off were always bullshit excuses, "let's-do-this-some-other-time- call-me-laters". It's dishonest and misleading. Much like dating. I stopped calling and inviting. I chose to communicate with people who enjoy my company. As my wise Husband put it "being friends with someone shouldn't make you feel bad", and he is right, as almost always. Life is so much like high school. Oh wait, is it the other way around? :)
So back to becoming "THAT" person. In addition to my much internalized friendship drama, I had an unpleasant conversation at my place of employment about my tardiness, and that somewhat snapped me out of my haze. So, as usual, I'm pulling myself by my lazy self-loathing bottom, buckling up and making sure my rigid schedule sticks. So far, so good (it's been a few weeks, wait for the update in a month or so). :P
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