ARGGG

I've written about poop. Too much, I might add: how poop is everywhere, for instance. I'm sure there's more, but don't want to scout for it. Now that zaiki are a little more settled and 98% potty trained (I don't count sleeptime, that'll come later) the poop stopped tormenting us and I thought I won't have to dedicate any more posts to it. But the latest happening made me rethink that:

Aah, a nice, warm, relaxing bubble bath. What a treat, you may think. Taking a bath was a luxury before the zaiki. I loved to poop pop (see!!!! It is in my subconscious mind!!!!) in a nice CD, bring up my glass of wine, light candles and just relax in the tub. I haven't done it in three years (I'm such a mom cliche), so the other night I decided it was time.

After the zaiki were washed, fed, changed, hugged and tucked in, I closed the door to the bathroom, filled the tub with seductively warm water, and climbed in. Glorious, floaty feeling of being alone, no grabby hands, no demands. Perfect "me" time! Alas, it was short-lived: just as my muscles started to unknot themselves, the door opened. Maya tentatively peeked her head in and decided that sitting on the floor in front of the tub and watching Mama shave her legs is more fun than sleeping. It is a little disconcerting to have someone sit there and provide a running commentary of your EVERY move. I guess I better get used to it, but still. After she got tired of commenting on my actions, she moved on to carefully listing all anatomic attributes she would like to have when she grows up. Then (my guess that all that talking made her feel relaxed) she had to poop. Of course! My nemesis - toddler poop - had to make an appearance. So I had to leap out of the nice, warm and comfortable water to wipe her butt. I tell you what: nothing snaps you out of blissful relaxing-ness superfast as wiping toddler bottoms. Nothing.
The mood was broken. The poop won again.

Eating healthy

One of the most important mom-duties (as I see it) is feeding my children a healthy, home-cooked diet. I try to limit processed stuff and make lots of stuff from scratch. One of my specialties this past summer due to us joining a co op and receiving an abundance  (I'm not kidding, we got a shitload!) of zucchinis, was zucchini bread. But zaiki, in a natural children fashion, refuse to eat anything that is remotely good for them unless it is carefully disguised (Kevin actually pureed a roasted eggplant and clandestinely added it into a pasta dish). We also started making them kale (yes, kale) smoothies. If you add enough bananas and blueberries to mask the taste, they don't even know it's in there. It looks a little funny, but they haven't figured out suspicious food color yet, ha!
Anyway, back to zucchinis:
Since they wouldn't eat zucchini bread, I came up with a sneaky strategy: put chocolate pudding on it and told them it's "happy cake" (cake or cookies in zaiki-speak). Well, do you know that they DEVOURED it. The photographic evidence is below. Turns out, we really like healthy stuff. If properly presented that is. :)

Chocolate lover number one

Life is sweet

Somewhat dazed chocolate lover number 2

Really focused Sonya

Tune in next week for more poop updates and Halloween fun :)

Poop, shoplifting and sloppy parenting - just an average day really



image:www.khushi.wordpress.com

 This morning I left my house ALONE with make up on. On time…Wow, it was a first time in forever…Usually this is how my morning goes:

6:15 - Wake up groggy, stagger to turn the coffeemaker on, avoid the mirror while brushing teeth (I’m not gross, I do shower, only at night)

6:25 - Reach into the closet without looking, pull out the least wrinkled shirt and some sort of a bottom

6:30 – Put together my giant coffee cup, make juice cups and pull out a couple of yogurts, and go to wake up the girls…

Then I lose track of time because of all the whining, fighting, spitting and shenanigans. Zaiki wake up crabby and usually refuse to (pick several):

a) wear clothes period

b) wear clothes I choose for them

c) brush teeth

e) sit on the potty

f) eat breakfast

By the time I leave my house to take them to the sitter, I am usually 10 to 15 minutes late for work. Sigh…

Oh yeah, and on the subject of potty training: I’m pretty sure books that say “have your child use the potty in 3 days” and other nonsense are in the same category as “put this crystal in your sock it’ll eat your cancer” crap. Our attempts to potty train culminated with Maya pooping on the lawn the other day, prompting “this is why I didn’t want a dog” from Kevin while he used a plastic bag to scoop it up. Sonya was so impressed by the act she was talking about it for two days.

But they definitely are not babies anymore. You know how I know? Sales women at clothing stores stopped smiling and cooing at them. Instead, I get annoyed glances and snarky remarks as my precocious toddlers destroy jewelry stands while I pay at the register. But, in zaiki's defense, if you have a store that doesn’t ban children, you shouldn’t have jewelry display at floor level and don’t leave any shit lying around. 

But yesterday’s shopping trip topped the previous ones: I lost them at the GAP store –I went to pay for their new headbands, turned around for a second and they were gone. I kept calling them to no avail. Oh I cannot describe the panic…Then I hear giggles – my wonderful, industrious, creative daughters were in the front window undressing a boy maneken. We left in such a hurry that only in the car I noticed Maya clutching a stray bracelet in her sweaty little paw. So not only did we destroy the display, we shoplifted. Great.  

To add to the terrible twos, I’ve been in an air cast for the past couple of weeks and I haven’t been running, which makes me really really sad, mainly because I hate the stationary bike at the gym and afraid to ride one on the street. Also it’s sweltering outside and wearing heavily padded black plastic boot on your leg at all times is less than comfortable. It’s itchy, hot and swampy.