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Sunday, July 31, 2011

The F-word

source:www.hindsightcon.com


Kevin took the girls to the park the other day, and Sonya told him he was fat after he said he is too big to fit on the baby swing. Her first f-word. This is very sad - in my eyes, it's a beginning of the loss of innocence and universal acceptance that so amazes me in young children. It's a sign that the world is leaving its mark on my babies.

I grew up in a very superficial culture: you were considered beautiful if you were skinny and had long hair (just like everywhere else I imagine!). My mother kept my hair short and I was always referred to as "plump" during my childhood. That was very upsetting. My family was also decidedly, defiantly non-athletic. My feeble attempts in getting involved in sports were met with "Oh, just eat something!". This is why I love running - to me it is a symbol of breaking away from the mindset I was raised in and becoming my own person.

It took me years to start accepting the way I look, and I'm not even half-way there. An example of my neurosis is that I found a skirt in my closet I've had for 15 years (I know, I know, I'm a sad individual). I was able to zip it up, but it was a little tight and it derailed me for a couple of days.


I never use any physical descriptors (fat/skinny, cute/ugly) around my girls, and I was very surprised that Sonya said that. But, as my babysitter put it - you can't keep them in a bubble forever, older kids can be not nice to each other and little ones will pick it up. I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. It just hit me that, even as their mother, I don't have complete influence over what they are exposed to. All right, and hold all the "duh!" comments please, I'm allowed to have illusions. :) I still have them- that the girls will pick up their toys, that they will not fight with each other, always be nice, and go to win Nobel prizes for some groundbreaking research. Sigh. 

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